


no competition (so why would i bother putting up a fight?)

by yellowvim



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Love, Mentioned Azumane Asahi, Mentioned Sugawara Koushi, Sawamura Daichi in Love, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Teen Angst, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21831478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowvim/pseuds/yellowvim
Summary: You don't stand a chance against Michimiya Yui. So you don't even try to.Or: where you're in love with Daichi, but he's in love with Michimiya. He thinks he is, at least.
Relationships: Michimiya Yui/Sawamura Daichi, Sawamura Daichi/Reader
Comments: 15
Kudos: 44





	1. the truth is found

_Sixteen years._

You've known Daichi Sawamura for sixteen years.

_Six years ago._

You fell in love with him six years ago.

Granted, you didn't actually know you were in love until you were fifteen. But, still.

_You fell in love with him six years ago._

You aren't sure when, or why. But his name makes your heart seize. And his smile gives you butterflies. You always wanna be near him, always want to hear his laugh. The world is brighter when Daichi's with you. Like you're suddenly seeing colors for the first time, _bright_ and _new_ and _beautiful_.

You wonder if this is how it is for everyone. You wonder if it's even better when the love is a mutual feeling. You wonder a lot of things.

You never wonder if Daichi loves you back.

You know he loves you, of course he does.

But, you don't question if he _loves_ you. You don't wonder if you make his world brighter, if his heart races the way yours does on the nights that you're both drunk off laughter.

You're just thankful he's here with you.

You're thankful for the nights spent at each other's house, sneaking snacks and drinks into bedrooms. Laughing a little too loud and laughing even harder after getting in trouble.

The nights when you're listening to music and _just existing_ with each other. Not much talking. Just his soft breathing and yours. From opposite sides of the room.

Because being too close to him hurts sometimes.

You don't wonder if he knows how you feel. If he knows and ignores it because you're _such good friends_.

You don't wonder.

You're just thankful.

He's gotten busier lately. Suga, Asahi and the rest of the team steal him from you. And that's okay! He looks so happy!

And it's not like you never see each other.

The late nights are just fewer and farther inbetween. The laughing dies down. His phone rings.

You aren't stupid.

He's hiding it from you. _You're not stupid_.

You run into them today. It's just cool enough that you slipped on a wool cardigan, but still warm enough that you could go without a real jacket.

He's across the park from you. Michimiya beams up at him because of something he said. He's not paying attention. His eyes are on you.

He looks guilty.

_So he knows, huh?_

Well, what else were you expecting? He's known you for sixteen years, of course he'd notice something like this.

Of course he'd figure out that your heart belongs to him.

Michimiya follows his line of sight and beams again, waving enthusiastcally at you. You watch, heart twisting, when she takes his hand in hers and pulls him over to you.

"Hey! Funny seein' you here!" she smiles brightly. She wants a hug. You give her one.

"Hi," Daichi mutters. Your name tumbling from his lips makes you tremble.

"It's a nice day," you hum, eyes never looking towards Daichi. You sigh and tilt your head back, "This is my favorite season."

"I prefer spring," Michimiya hums, finger at her chin.

_So does Daichi._

"But, I understand the appeal!" she laughs.

"So what are you crazy kids up to today?" you smile, turning to look between them instead of at them.

"Ah,"

_Please don't say it._

"We're on a date!"

_Ouch._

"Daichi took me to get ice cream and a new book!"

"Oh?" you laugh, and finally, _finall_ y, look him in the eyes. He's already looking at you like he'd been waiting for you to _just look at him_. "Well, Daichi's always been a charmer."

You let the conversation run its course before apologizing for interrupting and claiming your leave.

You cry that night. Harder than you've ever cried. You cry, because even if a small part of Daichi loved you the way you loved him, you still couldn't compete with Michimiya.

You don't necessarily avoid him the next day, but you aren't exactly seeking him out either.

You meet his eye in class but don't speak. Walk past him in the halls. Don't show up for lunch.

You tried so goddamn hard not to make things weird. And he knew the whole time and made it weird anyways.

"Why aren't you and Daichi attached at the hip today?" Suga raises an eyebrow at you.

"He's with Michimiya," you shrug, "Haven't you noticed? He doesn't have time for me anymore."

And then you're leaving Suga on his own too, confused and worried.

"What was that about?" Asahi mutters quietly, stepping up behind Suga. He raises a hand to set on Suga's back, and the smaller boy leans into it. And then he growls.

" _I'm gonna kill Daichi_ ,"

"W-woah!" Asahi squeaks, "What the hell happened?"

"She found out about Michimiya and Daichi,"

"Oh,"

"If he had just been honest! If he had-" Suga runs his hands through his hair and groans.

You don't go to watch them practice that night. You were going to, really. Because you're still friends with Suga and Asahi. But when you get to the gym door, Michimiya is the first face you see in the gym.

And you just-

- _need some time._

"Not gonna stay?" Daichi calls, leaning on a wall. You stop and shrug.

"No,"

He says your name.

"Sawamura, please don't,"

He's shocked.

You haven't called him by his last name since you were kids.

"Don't call me that," he grunts, pushing himself from the wall to walk closer to you.

"Don't lie to me," you shoot back.

"I didn't lie!"

"No, you just didn't tell me,"

"I-I didn't-" he groans and sighs loudly, "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Daichi Sawamura, do you think I'm dumb?" you scoff, turning to look at him. "Did you think I wouldn't notice? I _watched_ you fall in love with her. I watched the colors sparkle in your eyes and your smile shine a little bit more. I watched you turn into me. I'm not stupid."

"It-"

"No," you laugh, "I'm not even allowed to be upset because you can do whatever you want. You aren't mine and I'm not yours. And I need to grasp that concept. So, let me be moody and let me be petty. And let me be those things _away from you_."

Michimiya is in the gym doorway the next time you glance over. She's there with the whole team standing behind her.

Daichi is flustered and frustrated and he glares daggers. You're embarrassed and hurt.

You stuff your headphones in, turn the music all the way up, and leave.

No fuss,

no tears.

Just a wave to everyone while you walk away and a blind eye to the burning pit in your heart.

 _Because you can't even_ _compete_ _with someone like Michimiya_ _Yui._


	2. the revelation

It's a sweet, Saturday morning. You wake up early enough to go out for breakfast.

You invite Suga and Asahi, and you're shocked when they're at your house five minutes later.

"Uhm," you're not dressed, having not even started getting ready yet. You told them about _twenty minutes_. "You're early?"

"We know," Asahi smiles when you step out of the way to let him in. "Are your parents home?"

"No, they left last night and won't be back for another two days. They're on a date-cation,"

"Good!" Suga beams, holding up a tote full of groceries, "Because we brought stuff to cook for you."

"You-" you watch him immediately walk into your kitchen and get right to work, "Why?"

Suga smiles, soft and loving, and turns as he finishes tying an apron around his back.

"Because you're hurt and we love you,"

_Oh._

"We didn't mean to make you cry," Asahi laughs quietly, cupping your face to wipe your tears. Your eyes widen in shock and your own hand comes up to touch your face.

"I-"

They both kiss your forehead and then Suga is leading you to a chair in the kitchen.

"We brought stuff for pancakes!" Asahi smiles, pulling out all the ingredients for pancakes from scratch, fresh fruit, and some syrup.

You huff quietly and wipe your tears again.

"Sorry," you hiccup, "I look homeless."

"Oh!" Asahi starts, and scrambles to grab a box from the back, "We got you other stuff too."

"Guys," you whine, tearing up again and laughing softly.

"We just got you some comfort clothes and some face masks," Suga laughs, tossing you a t-shirt and some soft, plush pj bottoms.

The morning moves forward. You change into the clothes they bought you and wrap yourself in a blanket. You all laugh together, laughing even harder when Asahi somehow gets flour in his hair. And then outing when Suga throws some at you.

After you're all done eating, Asahi and Suga double team the dishes and clean up their mess.

"Okay," Suga huffs. He turns and smiles brightly, "We gotta go and head to an extra practice that was scheduled today."

You hum from your place on your couch and smile brightly up at them.

"I'm a very full and happy girl; I'm probably gonna nap,"

Asahi laughs heartily and pats your head, "That's fair."

They both bid you goodbye and close the door on their way out. You wait until they're gone to stumble to your room and lay down.

Your phone has six missed messages. You ignore them.

They're from Daichi, you already know. You haven't opened a single one, opting out and deciding just just ignore him this weekend. It'll be difficult, as he lives two houses down the street. You're honestly surprised he hasn't just shown up at your house yet.

But you're relieved he hasn't, too.

-

You nap for only an hour.

It is a nice day, and you were planning to go out anyways, so you start getting ready.

You're sad right now. So you dress nicer than you would, style your hair, do your makeup, the works.

You just wanna feel nice today, and that's honestly reason enough for you.

And at least you know that Daichi is at practice so you can walk by his house without worrying.

You know you're being dumb and dramatic, but it hurts. You're hurt.

You would've been hurt no matter how it went. But he should've been honest with you.

You suppose you should've been honest with him, too.

But all that aside!

You're going to have a good day! It started strong, and goddammit it's gonna end strong too.

Except, apparently the world hates you.

Because you run into Michimiya almost as soon as you're in town. And, for some unknown reason - even though he's supposed to be at practice - Daichi is with her.

You don't even say hi. You spin on your heel and _book it._

"Hey!" Daichi calls. He turns to look at Michimiya helplessly, "I'm sorry I-"

"It's okay! Go. She's your best friend, I understand," Michimiya smiles. Daichi presses a kiss to her forehead and starts off after you. She briefly understands that Daichi's heart will never fully belong to her.

-

You stop briefly to catch your breath and,

"FUCK!" you _yell_ ,

completely unladylike but who cares.

_You're mad._

Your name is called and Daichi is running towards you. You just go limp, arms hanging loosely at your sides. You're sweating and panting and tired. Your good mood has completely washed away.

"What the hell was that?" Daichi pants, hands on his knees.

"Obviously me not wanting to see you," you scoff.

"Why can't we just _talk_ -"

"Because, Daichi!" you yell again, this time at him. "Because I can't stay mad at you because _I love you_. And if I don't stay mad, that love is going to take over my whole goddamn body and I will just be _heartbroken_."

He stares at you, confused and he looks guilty.

And then he speaks.

"I don't-" he groans, "I didn't-"

"You don't need to make excuses. You never need to make excuses for being in love," you sigh softly, "Daichi, I love you and I will always love you. But you need to give me time to _fall out of love_ with you. Unless you are planning to fall in love with me too."

"You are-" he breathes slowly, "-stupid,"

"Excuse y-"

And he's kissing you. Hard and on the mouth. His hand curls around to the back of your neck, the other presses to your back so you're flush to him. Your hands stay at your side, and he pulls away before you even get the chance to kiss him back.

"I didn't know," he sighs, "I didn't know until after I started dating her. Suga told me. _I didn't know_."

"But you still love her," you hum, quiet and gentle. You cup his face. He leans into it, you're so _warm_ , "And I can't compete with her. I'll lose. I've already lost."

He licks his lips, and stares at you dumbfounded.

And then you're walking away again. And his heart stops, because he truly doesn't know if you'll come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was super rushed and I actually hate it but oh welllllll~


End file.
